The Eldership Remembering Circle

A live relational space for those who hold others, and know they weren’t meant to do it alone. 

This circle is for people others turn to when things feel uncertain, heavy, or unresolved.

Earlier this year I held the first public opening of this work in 18 years.

Not because something new was being launched, but because the moment felt right to host a space like this.

For the past year, this work has been happening quietly in small circles and one-to-one conversations, away from the noise.

The circle exists for the season we’re in.

When responsibility is heavy, and the places that once helped us carry it have grown thin.

What the circle is (and isn't)

This is not a course in the conventional sense. It is not skills training, credentialing or performance.

It is a remembering circle: a space devoted to eldership.

A place to reconnect with the part of you that knows how to hold responsibility without losing yourself. 

Not by striving, but by coming back into right relationship with responsibility. 

Eldership, remembered

Eldership is not an age or a title. It isn’t something you claim.

It is a relational position that lives between people, not above them.

Across cultures and generations, people have grown through recognised passage.

By being seen, guided, corrected, affirmed.

Not perfectly.
Not for show.
But together.
In community.

When that circle is nurtured, connected and strong, people grow with steadiness. 

When it is no longer remembered, people improvise life alone.

Much of today’s confusion is not a lack of intelligence or care. It is a lack of eldership in circulation:

• Responsibility carried without being witnessed,
• Leadership taken up without having been led,
• Care given without ever having been properly received.

This circle exists to restore that flow.

What becomes possible here

This is a space where:

• Your way of holding responsibility can be seen and named.
• Your instincts can be refined rather than overridden.
• Your judgement can settle without hardening.
• Your position in the wider human procession can become clearer.

Not through advice, but through being in a space where lived experience is shared and your own sense of eldership can be re-membered.

How we will gather

We will meet live on Zoom, once a week, for four weeks.

Each session is 90 minutes.

I will be present in real time, listening, speaking and responding to what is actually in the room.

There will be space for questions and reflection, and the emphasis of each session will be shaped by what’s real for the people in the circle. 

How the circle is held

At the start, participants won’t automatically be visible to each other.

This isn’t about distance or control.

It’s a choice that protects and holds people as they arrive.

Speaking and visibility are welcomed when you’re ready, not before.

At times, I may invite individuals or small groups into conversation on screen. Always by choice. 

How the sessions flow

Rather than fixed content, each session has a centre of gravity.

• Session One | Orientation
  Arriving into the circle. Naming the territory you are standing in.
  Beginning to sense where responsibility is being carried, and how. 
  
  
• Session Two | Deepening
  Exploring the difference between helping and holding.
  Noticing how power, care and judgement show up quietly in everyday roles.
  
  
• Session Three | Integration
  Staying present with fear, change and transition.
  Practising how to hold others without burning out or shrinking yourself.
  
  
• Session Four | Closing Circle
  A gentle closing space for reflection, integration and completion.
  For those who wish to stay a little longer with what has emerged.

Who this is for

This space is for people who sense that they are standing in roles that deserve more depth.

You may be holding family, teams, clients, communities or decisions that affect others.

You may not use the word “leader,” but you recognise the weight of influence.

You do not need to be a coach, have a title or have the answers.

If something in you recognises this work, that is enough.

Who is holding the circle

For 29 years, I’ve worked with young people, families, and communities, often in places where people feel stretched and fragile, carrying more than they should.

In public and professional spaces, I’m known as Bob Singha.

In my family and community, I’ve been known by other names too.

Names like Brother, MamaJi, ChachaJi, Son, Nanu and Baba.

I’ve also been known at different times as a youth worker, teacher, facilitator, mentor and coach. Those words describe parts of the work, but they don’t fully name it.

They aren’t roles I chose. They’re names that emerged over time, pointing to responsibility and to being someone others turn toward for steadiness, perspective, or care.

Over time, I’ve come to understand what I do less as a role and more as a way of showing up.

Listening, witnessing and helping people stay connected to themselves and each other when things are uncertain.

This circle grows out of those experiences. 

The village is calling.

Your place is waiting to be remembered.